Brad Pitt ve Angelina jolie partner
Online Dating Success Rate 2019 Meet Dating Partners
2019.04.05 20:40 hasannazmul111 Online Dating Success Rate 2019 Meet Dating Partners
With a 1% announced success rate, dating online must have stopped a time long ago. This has simply shifted from its below 1% success rates since it started in the mid-90s! But why does it continue to thrive? Why is the number of subscriptions continuously rising?
And why are there even more launches of web sites dedicated to dating online? There success rate almost never changes from real life dating success rate, to put it more bluntly. Perhaps, the number it produces comes from the fact that there are more opportunities to meet people and more chances to be rejected in the on-line platform.
This could be the exact same number – on average – that a normal person gets in his/her dating life. Save of course if you’re a Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie doppelganger, the success – and failure – rates in both the on-line and real world dating hardly ever vary. Web dating has presented a very valid and real alternative for those who’ve gotten tired of the usual downs and ups of traditional dating. These on-line web sites are their response to finding the right person in their busy schedules, lack of self-confidence, or desire to find someone different from the people they meet every day.
And for whatever reason each person has for relying upon the world web for their search for true love, dating online sites must really have given them something to hope for to still keep believing in it. There are so many bad stories about dating online, that much is true.
But there are countless stories of successes too. These are individuals who found love from the most unexpected place, they’ve found individuals who were willing to share their lives with – just as much as there are many successful love stories in the real world. The thing about dating online is that it can take a lot of patience to succeed.
There’s a lot more to dating online than just posting your pictures on your dating online profile. It’s about spending some time to look for somebody, and even more time to spend getting to know with that someone. You’re in control of your very own web dating success. How you relate with the people you meet on-line will more than likely tell how successful you’ll be in finding your one true love throughout the worldwide web. Join and be a part of a brand new, up and coming dating service find their partner in life. Click Here To Find Your Dating Partner Today- http://meetdatingpartners.com
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2019.02.19 15:40 Cassandrasworld 🌍🍾🎤👗🤵 THE AMAZING DRAG RACE - EPISODE 3: The Irrelevant Gay Awards PART 2 🌍🍾🎤👗🤵
After listening to the challenge, Anita’s threatening smile reflects the empty screen.
[ANITA CONFESSIONAL]: I’m just gonna say it, winner winner, two chicken dinners.
Anita pulls Elle close to her.
“We should try and hide the marker box from everyone else.” She whispers in her ears.
“Anita no!” Elle replies. “I want to compete with the best of the best fairly. Cheating doesn’t feel right to me.”
“Well fuck those feelings Eleanor Roosevelt Crimson.” Anita replies.
She attempts to push the yellow marker box over without any luck.
“Goddammit.” She pants. “This thing is anchored down to the ground.”
“Thats because your twinky arms can’t lift anything Anita.” Elle claps back.
Anita’s face lights up as if a tiny light bulb has been turned on inside her head.
She rushes out of the frame disappearing for a couple of minutes leaving Elle alone next to the marker box awkwardly looking around. Before she could see it, a suitcase flies through the air knocking Elle down to the ground.
“AAAAADJIWD WHAT THE FUCK!!” Elle screams in pain, laying down in a pool of her own Crimson red blood.
“Ohmigosh Ohmigosh” Anita cries.
She pulls a revolver out of her pocket and aims at Elle. Her eyes closed and her arms shaking as she whimpers.
“Our Father, who art in heaven.” Anita whispers to herself. “Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”
“Anita stop what the fuck I’m fine I just need a medic.” Elle Screams.
“Oh.” Anita sheepishly hides her gun in her wig.
The paramedics rush to the scene wrapping Elle in bandages.
“Besides what were you thinking???” Elle screams at Anita.
“I thought I could knock it over with a suitcase if I got my aim right!” Anita replies.
“WHAT?!?!” Elle yells. “You were kicked out of Little Leagues Baseball for a reason.”“Yeah but I was a kid bac-”“No you were 27.” Elle cuts her off.
Meanwhile on the plane, Skarlet is trying to get Kitty prepared for the upcoming challenge.
“All I’m saying Kitty.” Skarlet begins “We should start theorizing on what the challenge can be so we can start writing some dot points and ideas.”“Yeah Yeah.” Kitty yawns. “I need a cat nap.”
Kitty snuggles up in her plane seat.
“But Kitty we need to start our strategy!” Skarlet begs.
“Uh huh sure k.” Kitty stretches her arms up in the air.
“Kitty WE NEED TO START PLANNING.” Skarlet grabs Kitty and begins to shake her.
“Okay okay but let me sleep first.” Kitty replies now clearly annoyed.
“But Ki-”“Listen here Missy.” Kitty cuts her off slapping Skarlet’s arms away. “We don’t even know what the challenge is, let a girl nap because I’m still tired from last night’s afterparty.”
[KITTY CONFESSIONAL]: Ugh I just need my own Kitty Korner at the moment to get a deep sleep.
On the other plane, Erathelle, Sardonyx, Claudette and Mademoiselle are all seated in pairs in the same aisle on the plane.
On the right side, Sardonyx has found herself a book full of stickers and has managed to cover herself in them as a grumpy Erathelle tries to look away from the mess.
Sardonyx leans close and places a heart sticker on Erathelle’s forehead.
“Whats with the sad face Erathelle?” Sardonyx asks “You gotta put your frown upside down!”
[ERATHELLE CONFESSIONAL]: Love love love Sardy but we could’ve been in France by now if she didn’t get distracted by goddamn essential oils.
Erathelle’s eyes are distracted by a stunning flight attendant on the aisle packing up the luggage on the top compartments. Erathelle still completely gazed, approaches the flight attendant.
“‘Excuse me maam do you need any help?” Erathelle asks.
The flight attendant turns around and reveals herself to be Desdemona. In shock, Erathelle falls to the ground.
“ERATHELLE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Sardonyx rushes to her side.
“Fuck it I can’t do CPR!!” Sardonyx cries.
Suddenly a tall man joins their side.
“Don’t worry maam I’m a doctor I can help out.” He says.
“Ummm I’m sorry- “ Sardonyx slaps the doctors arms away from Erathelle. “I’ve done years of research on google so I think I know what I’m doing.”
Sardonyx pulls out a bottle of Olive Oil and drizzles it around Erathelle, she begins to chant in Pig Latin.
“Maam this is quite inappropriate.” The doctor tries to interfere.
“Fuck off Bernard!” Sardonyx yells. “Besides I think its working.”
Erathelle opens her eyes wide open.
“ITS DESDEMONA!!” She screams pointing at the flight attendant.
The flight attendant turns around and looks at Erathelle in confusion. Her face completely different.
“I-I- What?” Erathelle looks around in confusion.
“Don’t worry Era.” Sardonyx reassures her. “The Olive Oil will wear off.”
Amongst this commotion, Mademoiselle and Claudette watch in anticipation. Whispering to each other as they giggle.
[CLAUDETTE CONFESSIONAL]: Tragic.
Back at the airport, Alexa and Annie are both waiting at the airport to board their plane.
“So what was it like competing on S2 and All Stars?” Alexa asks.
“Uh huh yeah, I think Carol and Panthera were robbed.” Annie replies looking away from Alexa.
“Umm I didn’t ask you who you thought was robbed on S2.” Alexa replies.
“Uh huh Uh huh, S2 was a shitfest while I personally think I slayed All Stars.” Annie replies.
[ANNIE CONFESSIONAL]: You gotta keep your competition on their toes, hence why I’m fucking around with Alexa.
1:00 am CEST Cannes, France.
Skarlet arrives at the airport, focused on the large binder filled with notes which she’s written throughout the entire flight, she approaches a nearby library to do some research on google before typing out all her notes and printing them out.
[SKARLET CONFESSIONAL]: You gotta put in all the work to win a challenge in this competition so it was necessary I visited the library before finding out what the challenge was . . . . I also hate looking at my messy handwriting and wanted to look at something clean.
Skarlet finally approaches to the yellow marker box watching Cassandra go batshit crazy on screen while announcing the challenge.
“Fuck yeah!” Skarlet yells in delight. “The statistics were right on this being a hosting challenge, now Kitty I have everything prepared for us to slay.”
Skarlet is met with silence.
“Kitty?” She looks around.
“FUCK!” Skarlet screams. ‘I LEFT KITTY ON THE AIRPLANE!”
The scene switches to Kitty still on the plane . . . headed towards Dubai. She’s all snugged up tucked in her blanket wearing a pair of earmuffs with pointy cat ears and an eye mask covering her eyes as she snores.
Meanwhile Anita and Elle have finally reached the destination for this weeks challenge.
“Oh my god wow look at this grand stage.” Anita looks around in excitement.
“ECHO!” She yells, the empty stage echoes back.
“ECHO . . . . . ECHO . . . . .ECHO . . . . . SHUT THE FUCK UP ITS 1 IN THE MORNING”“Oh I love the French and their honesty.” Anita replies. She takes her phone out of her wig and opens up Grindr.
“Wow look at all the Frenchmen Ella Enchanted! Anita screams.
“Uh huh Anita shut up and help me unpack I can’t do this by myself.” Elle struggles to unzip the bags due to thick bandages covering her fingers.
“Uh they all have long and thick Baguettes.” Anita replies. “I say we ditch this and get some dinner.” Anita licks her lips.
“First of all no thanks.” Elle replies. ‘Second, I’m underage and Third, come here and open these fucking bags Anita.”
“Oh Oui Oui I’ll be there soon.” Her eyes glued to her phone as her hands make their way down to her crotch.
Before anything else could happen, a flying suitcase knocks Anita over.
“OW WHAT THE FUCK ELLE.” Anita screams in pain clutching to her arm.
“Oops.” Elle replies. “I was aiming for your phone for your phone but my aim must be bad.”
“I think my arm is broken!” Anita whimpers.
“Oh my god stop making excuses Anita!” Elle claps back.
Meanwhile back at the airplane, Sardonyx is deep asleep as Erathelle constantly looks around in fear.
[ERATHELLE CONFESSIONAL]: I swear that bitch Desdemona is following me. But why? It was Alexa who fucked her over not me.
Producer: Oh thats because Alexa is filler and we’re getting rid of her next week.
[ERATHELLE CONFESSIONAL]: Wait what?
Producer: Fuck I’ve said too much.
\Throws Olive Oil at Erathelle**
“Sardonyx” Erathelle shakes the Queen until she wakes up.
“Erathelle what is it?” Sardonyx asks. “Is Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie getting back together?”
“What no.” Erathelle replies. “I need you to come to the bathroom with me.”
“Erathelle.” Sardonyx sighs “This is the 7th time in an hour.”
“I know I know but I don’t feel safe on this plane with Desdemona lurking around.” She whispers.
“Erathelle just get the fuck up and go to the bathroom.”
Erathelle gets up the same time as Claudette.
“Oh hello Erathelle.” Claudette sneers. “Going to the bathroom?”
“Yeah.” Erathelle sheepishly replies.
“Girl, I’ve watched you go to the bathroom like twenty times already its my turn.” Claudette squeezes her way through Erathelle and walks towards the bathroom.
“Um I think the fuck not!! Erathelle grabs Claudette's ponytail accidentally pulling it off revealing her bald head.
“Erathelle WHAT THE FUCK!” Claudette turns around yelling at her.
Mademoiselle, noticing the drama immediately gets up.
“Now now you two.” She tries to interfere “Its late at night and we’re all tired. Get back to your seats.”
“Not until she apologizes!” Claudette screams.
“I don’t think I can.” Erathelle replies.
“Erathelle what the fuck, ever since the wheelchair incident you’ve been so hostile!” Claudette holds back her tears.
“Oh fuck.” Erathelle whispers to herself remembering episode 1 where she accidentally destroyed Claudette’s outfit.
“I could’ve won that one Erathelle but you ruined it.” Claudette says trying to pull herself.
“Well actually.” Madem interferes again. “Cassandra did say your looks were bottom two worthy.”“Nows not the fucking time Madem.” Claudette snaps back.
“Ladies we’re about to land can you please get back to your seats.” A flight attendant approaches the Queens.
Erathelle immediately recognizes the flight attendant.
“OH MY GOD ITS DESDEMONA.” she screams
Erathelle punches Desdemona forcing her to the ground.
“Oh my god Erathelle what the flying fuck.” Claudette gasps.
Erathelle realises her mistake.
“OH NO OH NO OH NO.” She steps away.
“What is with the noise?” Sardonyx awakes looking completely annoyed. “Its like I’m in prison again.”
Meanwhile on another plane, Alexa is hit with a sudden realization.
“Hey Annie.” She whispers. “Do you think the reason why we’re getting less screen time on this episode is because Cassandra is running out of ideas?”
“Uh huh yeah Alexa.” She replies.
“See!” Alexa points out. “You’ve been saying the same thing on 3 different scenes now!”
“Uh huh” Annie continues to ignore her as she tries to read her magazine.
“You did it again!” She points out. “She’s giving Erathelle, Elle, Sardonyx and Anita all the screentime. I demand for more!”
As Alexa continues to ramble on, a strange man wearing a large coat approaches.
“Alexa.” The man begins to speak. “I’m part of the producers of ADR.”
The man pulls out his badge.
“Its come to my attention that you’ve become self aware of your filler position on this competition, speak about this again and you will immediately be chopped off.”
“Hold on.” Alexa continues to argue. “You literally gave the Desdemona schtick to Erathelle when it was my fault she got attacked by zombies, I literally have no purpose along with Annie. In fact I bet we’re the bottom 2!”
The man leans closer towards Alexa.
“Listen here young woman.” He pulls off his fake moustache. “If you continue to speak about this situation, this plane will suddenly crash, your disappearance will be ruled off as a death but in fact you’ll be locked in my basement along with the other girls who decided to speak up about this. You know what happened to Amanda? All of her holes have been resized. Angelina? At this moment she’ll be shipped off to Malaysia to a gang who would love to have her. Dixie? She’s fucking dead.
“You monster!” Alexa gasps.
“Daddy who are you speaking to?” Three high pitch voices can be heard.
Alexa turns around to see Dixie, Amanda and Angelina all standing together.
“Hold on sweethearts Daddy will be there shortly.” The man replies. “Um sorry about that, it isn’t what it looks like.”
“Uh huh” Alexa sarcastically replies.
“Anyways, stop talking shit about this goddamn season Alexa or else you won’t be cast on RDR5.”
The man turns around and heads back to the 3 eliminated girls.
“Now girls, who wants to join the mile high club?” he asks.
“Oh pick me! Me Steven-san! I want to join the club.” The girls scream in excitement.
[ALEXA CONFESSIONAL]: *shivers* I hope I won’t turn into them when I’m eliminated.
3:00 am CEST Cannes, France
Skarlet has been busy for the past 2 hours at the information desk trying to find out Kitty’s location.
“Yes, my partner has been left at the plane.” She explains to the lady at the desk for the millionth time.
“Oh is this partner your wife?” The lady replies in a thick French accent.
“No no she’s my friend.” Skarlet replies.
“Don’t worry I’ve been on the friend zone before.” She leans closer to Skarlet. “The only way to get your girl is by unleashing your inner Christian Grey.”“No what the fuck.” Skarlet replies. “Can you just tell me where the fuck she is woman, I’ve been waiting for 2 goddamn hours and now that I’ve finally accessed your services, it seems like I’m talking to a goddamn degenerate who can’t do their fucking job.”
The woman looks at Skarlet clearly pissed.
“I’m sorry ma’am but it looks like I can’t help you.”
Meanwhile at Dubai, Kitty looks around the airport in confusion.
“Why is everything coated in gold?” She says to herself. “I thought France turned into a 3rd world country.”She watches a gold coated camel walk across her.
“Fuck even their cows are covered in gold.” She whispers.
She approaches the front desk.
“Hi umm where the fuck am I?” Kitty asks.
“Umm . . . ma’am?” The man continues. “You’re in Dubai.”
“Oh shit fuck!!” Kitty screams. “This place hates gays and detained my Queen Gigi Gorgeous for being trans.”
“You’re a homosexual? SECURITY!” The man screams.
Mittens rushes towards them with an entire SWAT team.
“Wait Mittens?” Kitty looks at her shocked. “You were literally on Miss Runiverse two weeks ago.
“SSSHHHH Don’t out me Kitty.” She whispers. “This is the only place that pays me in gold bars allowing me to pay off my debts quicker.”
Meanwhile at Mandelieu Airport, security has escorted Erathelle, Claudette, Sardonyx and Mademoiselle out of the plane.
“Well at least we don’t have to go through check out.” Madem jokes but is met with silence.
[MADEMOISELLE CONFESSIONAL]: What a girl can’t make jokes about this now? Smh
All 4 girls are sent to a room where they’ve been detained.
“Well this is great Erathelle.” Claudette begins. “Now we’re detained in a foreign country, possibly been placed on the no flight list therefore sabotaging us in the competition.”
“It could be worse.” Madem chimes in “We could be in France.
“Madem we are in France.” Claudette replies.
“FUCK” Madem screams. “The French hate me because they think my fake French persona is offensive.”
“Wait what?” Claudette asks.
“Hold up I think I can talk us out of this.” Madem yells at the closest security guard. “HON HON FEED ME A BAGUETTE, OUI OUI VIVA LA FRANCE!!!”
“Ma’am I can speak English.” The security guard replies.
“Dammit.” Madem slouches back on her seat. “I guess we’re fucked.”
But hope is not lost, the door bangs open revealing their hero, Cassandra half-done.
“Girls what the fuck was that.” She begins.
“I’m sorry” Erathelle begins.
“Its all good Era.” She continues “Why couldn’t you hit each other instead of an irrelevant character? My insurance doesn’t pay for that and I’m already over the damn budget.”
They all look down in silence.
“Lucky for you guys I managed to get you out of this.” She zips up her pants. “Now you whores go do the fucking challenge now.”
They all leave the room. As soon as their gone, the security guard approaches Cassandra.
“Now that we’re alone.” He leans closer and kisses Cassandra in the neck. “We can get back to what we were doing."
“Not now Armand.” She pushes him away. “I’m not Anita.”
Meanwhile Alexa and Annie have touched down.
“Did you see what I saw?” Alexa begins. “Cassandra literally ran out of ideas and had to write that to make the episode interesting.”“Uh huh” Annie replies.
“See, she wrote for you to say that because she’s ran out of ideas and how you can respond to this. Before you know it, she’ll end up like Buzzfeed and make us paint with period blood because she’s ran out of plot points.”
“Go off Alexa.” Annie replies.
“Trust me, we’ll be seeing some weird shit soon.”
They continue to walk across the empty airport surrounded by circus animals. A giraffe can be seen making conversation with a hippo while a large elephants walks across the two girls with his luggage on his back. Meanwhile, a pair of chickens can be seen sitting at a restaurant having breakfast which consists of sunny side up eggs.
Finally after 11 pages of bullshit, we’re finally starting the challenge.
Cassandra walks across the stage in a marie Antoinette styled gown, her face is white as fuck and her wig is stacked up so high, it makes her look eight feet tall.
“Hello and welcome to lap 3 of The Amazing Drag Race!” Cassandra begins.
“Tonight we’ll be watching the girls host the annual Irrelevant Gay Awards as I and the judges judge the shit out of them.”
“You love her and she’s been a judge for a couple of episode now, welcome Del O’Ryan, winner of Reddit’s Rising Sta-”
Before she could continue, a producer enters the stage and whispers something into her ear.
“Oops.” Cassandra continues. “I accidentally spoiled the winner, Janice cut that out we gotta refilm.”
Cassandra looks down, rubbing her hands together before looking back up.
“She’s a stunning Queen from Australia. Welcome the winner of Reddit’s Rising Stars, Del O’Ryan!”
“Fuck” Cassandra whispers to herself. “I guess thats another lawsuit to deal with.”
“She’s a Queen that's competed on all seasons, just not this one. Welcome to the stage Kornucopia!”
Korn waves to the crowd.
“This Queen has disappeared more times than Alex has, welcome Catheterina Dick!”
Cathe wave to the crowd before turning into dust.
“She claims to be a top but from judging Second Chance, she seems to enjoy being a bottom. Welcome Aspyn Ambrose!”
Aspyn waves to the crowd.
“Now let the show begin!”
MOST LIKELY TO GET SNAPPED WHILE IN AN AWKWARD SITUATION HOSTED BY MADEMOISELLE AND CLAUDETTE
The lights focus on Mademoiselle and Claudette as they enter the stage and walk towards the microphone. Clearly annoyed by Cassandra’s large wig blocking the view, This bends over to take a glimpse of the two Queens.
Mademoiselle & Her Majesty, Claudette walk out on stage. Mademoiselle is wearing a sheer lavender jumpsuit with bell-bottoms. The waistband indicates the garment is high-waisted, and the bodice features a nice plunging neckline. The jumpsuit is long-sleeved, and tight to Mademoiselle’s arms. She wears a dark, ruby red lip with a burgundy, curly wig, parted all on one side. Her eyes are classically dragged out; smokey eye with a dark purple tint and stacked lashes. Mademoiselle wears a gold plated choker, gold statement earrings, and a large gold bracelet on her right wrist.Claudette is wearing…clothes?
MADEMOISELLE:Hello hello hello everyone! Welcome to the 1st Annual Irrelevant Gay Awards, where we are celebrating the unsung members of our LGBTQ comm….wait... Claudette did they load the wrong intro in the prompter?
CLAUDETTE:No why do you ask?
MADEMOISELLE:Well, it says we’re supposed to be celebrating our attendees but I’m finding it hard to think of things these queens should be celebrated for.
CLAUDETTE:But Mademoiselle, we have Elle Crimson, a fashion icon, and Annie Depressant, a lip sync assassin...and...and...Kitty is here...
MADEMOISELLE:Oh yes, Elle “What’s-the-word-for-a-jacket-that’s-longer-than-a-trench-but-shorter-than-a-cloak-but-velvet-but-floor-length-but-fringed” Crimson and Annie “I lost to Mademoiselle in a sexy lipsync” Depressant.Silence.
CLAUDETTE:...is this about All Stars.MADEMOISELLE:No not at all! I don’t appreciate being called bitter, Claudette.
CLAUDETTE:But I never-
MADEMOISELLE:PLUS I don’t think you should talk given your Drag Survivor Two behavior now. Hmmm???
CLAUDETTE:Do you need to breathe into the paper-Mademoiselle is crying a bit now.
MADEMOISELLE:I’m fine! I have this now! And Winter Wig Wars!
CLAUDETTE:I’m sorry I don’t know what-
MADEMOISELLE:JUST READ THE CATEGORY.
CLAUDETTE:...are you done?
CLAUDETTE:It’s cause you’re drunk again and In YoUr FeElInGs isn’t it? Well guess what Madem acting like Panthera isn’t gonna make you take her 2nd place spot.
CLAUDETTE:Now! Our first category is…glances at teleprompter...oh how appropriate! Most Likely To Get Snapped in an Awkward Situation! Our first nominee is…
CLAUDETTE:With her NSFW history and VPL bunny snap she’s a shoe in!
MADEMOISELLE:Agreed! And speaking of NSFW history, our next nominee is...me!
CLAUDETTE:Oh wow girl! Congrats! You may finally win something important!
MADEMOISELLE:Haha fuck you cunt! But it may be tough because our next nominee is the queen of Drunk Snaps, Kitty!
MADEMOISELLE:Like on RRS…
CLAUDETTE:...is me. And I think my chances are- *She freezes and puts her hand to her ear.* Excuse me? It’s not...oh. OH. Well that could’ve been MUCH clearer...yes I’ll say it. Thanks. Slight change everyone! We’ve been misrepresenting this category! In this case, “Snapped” means turned to dust/erased as seen in the blockbuster hit Avengers: Infinity Wars!
MADEMOISELLE:Oh wig! That...could've been MUCH clearer.
CLAUDETTE:I already said that.
MADEMOISELLE:Yeah but who listens to you?
MADEMOISELLE:And it looks like we don’t have material! So, without further ado, the winner of the “Most Likely To Get Snapped While In An Awkward Situation” is
Annie gets up on stage with tears on her eyes as she takes the microphone from Mademoiselle as she holds onto her little Cassandra trophy, which is a miniature statue of Cassandra in her banana dress.
“Me? Oh my! I haven’t won something in so long I was starting to feel like Cassandra back in Season 3 and...well every season.
Anyway, i’d like to thank the sub for voting for me, Stephen Mcfeely for writing the movie, and Thanos for being a total dom-top zaddy of my dreams. What else could a girl want!”
The crowd cheers for her before booing her off so they can continue to the next category.
MOST LIKELY TO WEAR WHITE IN SOMEONE ELSE’S WEDDING HOSTED BY ERATHELLE AND SARDONYX
The pair walked out in their Cruella de Vil eleganza. Erathelle wears an ostrich black-and-white feather jacket with Cruella's face sewed onto it with sequins, a pair of red velvet thigh-highs and scarlet triangular glasses paired with a huge blonde ponytail that has a red streak running through it. Sardonyx wears an asymmetrical silver rhinestoned dress that extends in a sharp twisting of the fabric down towards the right leg, a pair of mismatched black-and-white thigh-highs and a long blonde and brunette ponytail.
Era: Hello girls! It's us, the RD3 icons, SardyEra, or as Fanta likes to call us, Dumb and Dumber!
Sardonyx: We were the ones chosen to introduce "Most likely to wear white at somebody else's wedding" because we are the only ones with a chance of getting married.
Era: I personally think I am the one with the biggest chance of being divorced.
Sardonyx: Until death does us apart? Not so long for Era.
Era; And the complete opposite for Cassandra. Do you know what Cassandra's husband told her on the wedding day? "I'm so glad you could take the day off of school!"
Sardonyx; A wedding is always an important moment in life. And there are always three rings involved.
Era; The engagement ring.
Sardonyx: The wedding ring.
Era: And the suffering.
Sardonyx: That's Madem's favorite you bdsm slut.
Era: So without further ado let’s start this party!
Sardonyx: Give it up for our nominees! We couldn't get Acid Betty tonight so instead we got Basic Betty. Applause for Skarlet Diamond!
Era: Just like Acid Betty, Skarlet is a triple threat; she's got diabetes, obesity and high blood pressure. She's gotten them from all that salt in her veins after losing ADR.
Sardonyx: I mean, huh, yeah, she does look pretty big on TV. She looks like Latrice Royale cast in white marble. But unlike Latrice Royale, she has no partner in her life. And that's a shame. Every queen needs a king, but judging by her body, the only king is Burger King. She is so fat that when she walks into any McDonalds her wifi connects.
Era: I do feel bad for her, because everyone says she lives in the shadow of Anita. But what people don't realize is that she doesn't fit in the shadow of Anita.
Sardonyx: Speaking of Anita, she is our second nominee. She is the queen on everyone’s lips, and I mean that metaphorically because otherwise we would have herpes. Her body is so fake it makes Madem's kindness look real.Era: But she does look pretty fuckable tonight. And she has been fucked... by the system. What do you call a gay Asian midget? A low blow.
Sardonyx: And that's how she got out of prison last week. Everyone keeps telling me that I robbed her of her win on the third ep of Dragula, but I'm not the criminal here. Anita has fucked more underage white boys than crystal meth. Anita has fucked more underage white boys than Kevin Spacey!
Era: Right, my love, before we talk about our next nominee we need to talk about the ones that turned down the offer.
Sardonyx: Starry Wisdom wouldn't have declined this if she was lucid when we asked her.
Era: Portia would have agreed to get this award, if anyone would have asked her.
Sardonyx: Smacahoe knew she wouldn't have gotten this award so she just said no.
Era: So! We've got Elle. My girl, as your fellow club 96 sister, I need to tell you something: watch out for the enemies. Last week I was talking to Skarlet and she just goes "Elle's makeup skills look like if she did her mug on a treadmill!"
Sardonyx: Wow, she's the one to talk.
Era: Mhm. And I thought "how the fuck does Skarlet know what a treadmill is?". And I did realize that she was lying. Because you have no makeup skills.
Sardonyx: The only white she wears at someone’s wedding is that chalk she smudges on her face to contour.
Era: Well It’s time to announce the winner who is
PART 3 COMING OUT IN LIKE AN HOUR
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2017.01.06 16:53 Death_Star_ (S4E1) I never have any sordid interests in actor lolłrrjj; I don't believe in rumors but confirmed stories, and even then, their lives don't affect my viewing experience. But Freeman and Abbington splitting up prior to shooting occupied portions of my mind & emotions rewatching this ep and S3.
As said, i don't take any interests is "juicy" celebrity scandals or break!-ups.
But I admit that because Sherlock remains a favorite show and John my favorite character, it makes me wonder if hiring Abbington was a huge mistake to try to fix some growing relationship problems of work envy and insecurity in 2013-2014, prime Hobbit years too. Couldn't they have hired a better and more believable English actress? Perhaps Rebecca Ferguson before she got big. Or Hayley Atwell? Or anyone athletic? Someone in their early mid 30s is more believable as a secretary than a 40 year old who's supposed to be Jane Bond ... and couldn't pull it off, as she seemed afraid of guns and even passed it to Benedict!
The whole Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie thing, from tryst to dissolution, never once came through my mind watching their films since, not even during Mr. & Mrs. Smith, other than "damn, they're attractive" and "they have pretty good chemistry." Wait, actually I was reminded of their relationship in Oceans 13, when Clooney's character advises Pitt's to "settle down, have some children," a direct nod.
But nothing else, really. Not even when watching Joan (Christina Hendricks) and her sex appeal in body and characteacting, and she rejects plenty of advances in the show, even when I know whom she's married to (just google image search).
But finding out days before the premiere that Freeman/Abbington split up right before production -- WHY??
Why split then, why announce then, and did their co-work contribute to their separation?
Because that's all I could saw when I took a 10-min break before rewatching the premiere to Google the show/premiere was the announcement of their split, which dominated Sherlock headlines.
Reading between the lines of actors' comments -- which I avoid doing as much as possible with actor drama, unless it's regarding an actor suddenly departing a project -- it sounds like it was her decision to split up, and it was largely influenced by Freeman's recent spike in fame and popularity and general ubiquity in visual entertainment (8 hours of The Hobbit, a minor-to-be-eventually-significant role in Captain America: Civil Procedure as the biggest or 2nd-biggest film of 2016, along with starring in one of the biggest and best basic cable shows (Fargo, aw jeez)...and then to top it off, Sherlock, of course (with a co-starring bit in a "tinybkuddjeè in Edgar Wright's The World's End).
So, he's been a lot more visible and many people are just finding him out for the first time; The Office (UK) came out literally about 15 years ago -- when the average Redditor, if you have them pegged at 24-25, was only 9-10 years old and likely into Pokémon instead of British workplace comedy. Most of the same kids probably never heard of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, or Freeman's starring vehicle in 2005-2006-ish.
Now, Freeman is at the top of his "game," and it's not just the fame and popularity that have grown, but just the overall feeling of success and accomplishment, which is also quantified via the big fat checks he has been getting for essentially 3 fantasy films, a bit part in a huge movie (that includes a contract for multiple films and more job security), 10 episodes of cable TV, which, even at a paltry $100,000 per hour-long episode as the co-headline nets him $1 million, then add in essentially his "hobby when he's free" or "favor to the fans," Sherlock. (same sort of recent resume as Benedict Cumberbatch, who was in The Hobbit, a Marvel film, and Sherlock).
IMO all this adds up in possible strife before Season 4 began production; if anything it reached the peak.
Spouses who divorce or long time partners who split often split over money, or the related disparity in personal success, or both. Then, with actors, you have added factors of time away from family (a legitimate reason cited by them, though it's not like either would say "it's because one got too famous and successful" since they're both actors.
Sure, Freeman spends time away while shooting, assuming he lives mostly in England as he doesn't seem like the Hollywood type, but really not that much compared to other big stars. The Hobbit was continuously shot, so basically he spent the equivalent of one super long movie shoot for the production of 3; the Marvel film was shot in Europe; Fargo was just 10 episodes in the US, and Sherlock shoots in England and sometimes London.
What concerned me was whether all the success from Season 2, combined with Martin's production on the Hobbit and impending global recognition, began to create a natural sense of...feeling like Abbington wasn't "pulling her weight" no matter how much Freeman consoled her, along with feelings of insecurity -- Abbington IS an actress but an aging one who a) never got a big break and b) who doesn't have a "trademark," like whether she's a comedic actress, accomplished dramatic actress, eye candy, charismatic, etc. she never carved out her niche. On top of all that, she's in her 40s, and even the A-list stars like Gweneth Paltrow, Jennifer Aniston and Sandra Bullock don't get many roles anymore since turning 35-40, and those stars are not just bigger stars with bigger resumes...they're also arguably bigger draws based on looks and charisma. None of this is to say Amanda is lacking, but to say that 1) she's had an uphill battle and 2) I wouldn't be surprised if there was domestic strife from the disparity of success.
I've seen it happen to too many friends, where one is a stay at home parent not 100% by choice and begin to lose a sense of purpose and grow in insecurity. Or, they both have jobs but one makes 175% more, which leads to nasty fights where the lower earner will resent the other because of it, while the other will do even worse and USE it against the other partner in fights, like "you're yelling at me for not doing the dishes, well I'm the whole reason we have a house and can even have a kid!" And these couples divorce, and I'm only 34 but have seen 2 divorces and a 3rd wrapping up, ALL 3 tied to MONEY/WORK.
It would make sense for Freeman to push for Abbington especially if there was this growing swell of unease between the two, where she's still an actress but not getting any jobs, and it would be perfect "stunt casting" with merit since they'd have actual chemistry, you would think. Perhaps this was Freeman's way to lift her spirits and confidence and add more money for the family -- though it could backfire because of Tumblr and cries of nepotism.
It's no doubt the biggest role of her career internationally -- but she still didn't seem like the absolute best fit for "secret spy assassin." Sure, "don't look like one" is a rule, except Ajay looked like someone Jason Bourne would fight. Abbington, eh. They could have found 30 better English actresses, like...Haley Atwell, who may be 8-10 years younger, but she IS supposed to be a super spy. Or even Kelly MacDonald, who convincingly played a cop in Black Mirror, and Holmes could say he met her at his sister's wedding or civil union in Dublin.
But they got Abbington, who was GREAT as a nurse but IMPERFECT holding weapons and leading the A Team.
And SHE left HIM. It's all speculation. But we do know she got hired and can infer she otherwise wouldn't get hired if she had no relationship with Martin. It's possible Martin pushed for her to get the job to maybe help the marriage and any possible insecurity; her character was written to be flawless, as her "flaws" were even "bad ass."
What sucks is that since they broke up pre S4, there was a LOT less chemistry between the two in the premiere and not much interaction of the romantic type. The most romantic thing done or said was through a CD message; I'm guessing their chemistry was a bit chilly on set and they did rewrites. Even that scene where they try to decide who goes to the aquarium looked awkward, like a conversation between two divorcees-- as that's what they were. Many former partners work together, but I've rarely ever seen one where they "divorced" right before shooting.
Remember their engagement dinner date before Sherlock? That was adorable. And maybe the crying when John said to forget the past and that she was his future was legitimate emotion to legitimate words, that unfortunately didn't hold up for Martin by Amanda.
But the premiere was COLD. Them sleeping in beds like friends, no kisses between the two the whole episode, not even a final kiss on the forehead by John...the premiere suffered from their split; the casting already suffered by getting a relative nobody, as they always cast top notch actors for all important roles, like Toby Jones.
At her death, I understand John's grunting, but he didn't really hold her like he mourned her; some things just feel too fake to act for some, there could be a line drawn. He held her like his sister just died.
TLDR -- It's a lot of speculation, but given that they're both actors but one is an internationally known star and the other a struggling actress, it's not uncommon for couples to suffer strife through disparity of income, and in this case, fame, popularity, recognition, and pure employment.
My guess is that's why she got hired for Mary, despite the need for an assassin spy...who looked like she was carrying an actual gun that might go off and two scared to use it (she even hands it to Benedict in the premiere!).
It just sucks they split up in general, since they seemingly made a great couple, and it sucks it affected the show before they broke up, and even more after they did, as they were growing apart, which may have been a last minute write-in
John texting behind Mary while married with an infant and ZERO wandering eye made NO sense; it made me believe they added it in the last second, as NONE of the actors were seen while he was with her or texting her...as Mary could have fed the kid, and in a reshoot he gets a text, and the baby waking up, as it came out of nowhere.
The "mistress" was not a smoking hot celebrity where the wife gives the husband a pass for having loveless sex; they were on to having a relationship. I just hope it's part of an evil villain plan to infiltrate his life to get to Sherlock, as it makes no sense Sherlock didn't pick up on John's guilt or wandering eyes etc.
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2016.11.12 05:28 LittleChaotic People with BPD have the ability to be the sexiest people alive and here's why..
Ever since I was 16, I was told that I was 'sexy' 'hot' and I never didn't get the guy I wanted. I was also a bit over weight and had acne on my back but those things never seemed to interfere with how I dated. The other thing was, I never needed to hear from anyone else that I was able to attract because I just decided in my head that I was. Ever since I got diagnosed with BPD I started looking it up and what I noticed, along with BPD girls are 'pyschos', was that there was an on going idea that girls with BPD were also super attractive, even more attractive than other girls. There are even questions online like 'Why are girls with BPD so sexy?' or 'Why does it seem that all girls with BPD are attractive?' Then I started reading a book called 'The Art of Seduction' and I couldn't help but notice that a lot of the tips and stories of seduction were things I already had figured out when I was 16.
Seduction is manipulation, but not in an evil sense of the word, but in a way that people actually enjoy it. Nobody doesn't like being seduced, people often complain afterwards that they were 'seduced' and that's why they 'cheated' or fell into a relationship or obsession they didn't want, but nobody doesn't enjoy the actual act of seduction or else they wouldn't be seduced in the first place. There are also so many people on the planet who wish they were able to seduce and have such problems talking to the opposite sex that it's holding them back. They might make excellent long term committed partners but they fail desperately at the first stages of a relationship that they never actually get to be partners. The thing about BPD is that we're so naturally complex in ourselves that we are a natural mystery. We are also able to tap into other's emotions and desires so fast that we know what someone else wants and we know how to be that. That's not always great for ourselves and it's how a lot of us lose our identities, but there is a way of balancing that as well. Borderlines are great at seduction because we have the mix of excitement, allure, confidence (at first), and vulnerability. We hate boredom, we crave intensity and intensity is very sexy. Angelina Jolie isn't the sexiest woman in the world for nothing, she's the sexiest because she's intense, complex and isn't afraid of showing she enjoys sex. Everything she does and says she does with passion. She exudes mystery, complexity and adventure. Borderlines are fascinating to others because we appear to have escaped the real world and gone into a fantasy world in our minds which we like to act out in reality. We are literally, out of this world. We desire in us a life of thrills, great perfect love, and meaning. We are in general, never satisfied with normality. Also, when we love, we love with a huge amount of raw passion and emotion that most other people don't really understand.
I have never been loved by a borderline, but I imagine it would be a crazy yet thrilling experience....that would also probably leave me heart broken at the end in some way. I can imagine it begins where you are literally someone's ideal person, the greatest person they have ever met, their dream in every way, their hero or princess, like no one they have ever met before...and that would be pretty intense but also, quite exciting. They want to know everything about you and everything about you is fascinating to them. And if that borderline happens to also be quite physically attractive, then it would be the best thing ever. Like if Brad Pitt suddenly fancied me that much, I think I'd be on cloud 9 for sure. And it's sexy when someone you want wants you, and wants you that much that you're the greatest thing that ever lived on the planet. And it's not even cheesy coming from them, because you can tell that they mean it, and they do. They talk in a way you've never heard before, they say things that no one says and they don't do small talk. They dive right in to ideas and fantasies for their future. They are often creative in some way or have a great enjoyment of the arts or music. They are romantic, they act like they're from a movie but it seems so natural to them. They're impulsive, a date with them is never dull. The sex with them is like fireworks, they don't hold back, they don't act shy. In short, they're intoxicating.
Borderlines are exciting to be with, we are generally funny or intelligent or super affectionate and loving and when we smile when we're happy we light up the room because no amount of ecstasy can compare to our feelings at that moment. And we're quirky, we don't fit in or go with the tide. We're the people who write the most romantic love letters when no one even writes love letters anymore. We're the kind that love to have sex because it is one of the ways we connect to people especially the person we love and when we have sex, we generally do it intensely too. We're the people who cry and have a vulnerable side that comes out more frequently than with others, we show our weaknesses and that also creates connection and our lovers respond to that with tenderness as we cry in their arms about something they can't understand. We lavish them with attention, text after text even though it annoys them at times, it also reminds them of their importance to us. And everyone yearns to be important, to everyone or just to someone. They want to be seen, heard and valued and borderlines do that with our lovers when we're in love. They are told that they will never be replaced, never be left, they're the greatest, the sexiest...and the borderline means it too.... And then the end, when a borderline starts to lose that infatuation and starts to see their partner a bit more clearly, maybe even starts to get the attention of someone else who might be more appealing to them, the borderline leaves. A sorry goodbye and I hope you have a great future and then they go to someone else and then the new ex sees them out and happy with this new person and their heart breaks into a million pieces. Because no one can break hearts accidentally as well as a borderline can!
Elizabeth Taylor didn't have 8 marriages for no reason and other notable BPD women include Marilyn Monroe, Amy Winehouse, Angelina Jolie, Britney Spears, Audrey Hepburn, Brigitte Bardot... all of whom never really managed well with relationships but were renowned for their attractiveness and sex appeal. So, the mystery about why borderlines have often been the most alluring people in the planet is because of our intensity and our idealism and our craving for love. The thing is, we don't even do it on purpose. We don't scheme, we don't think it through like a pick up artist or a psychopath. We just embody seduction naturally. It's one of the most interesting parts of this disorder to me, because it's been a key part of myself for nearly my whole life. I've been able to charm people without much effort since I was even a child. I would naturally know how to create a mood, how to act to create happiness in someone else or get attention. I recently realised that so many people just don't know how to charm people, flatter people or give affection to people in the right ways. I think it is a gift to have this ability, because the most successful people on the planet use charm and seduction all the time but most of them have to learn, and learned charm can never really beat authentic charm.
I think it's a good idea to have some posts that remind borderlines of some of the better aspects of their disorder as I think every mental health issue has some positive sides to it. :)
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2016.09.21 17:09 inkfinger Write a romantic comedy. Difficulty: both lovers are emotionally mature and have excellent communication skills.
Link to the prompt Karen and Lewis stared at one another in horrified fascination as they listened to Dave and Rachel yell in the apartment next door. The walls were thin enough to hear every word perfectly. Karen crossed herself and muttered a little prayer as the obscenities flew back and forth, but still turned off the TV to hear better.
"Goddammit Rachel, how many times do I have to ask you to not parade around in that stupid furry costume? I know you like it, but it's not my thing, ok? It's just not my thing!" Dave said. "Though I can see why you might want to obscure your face at night. Jesus, no wonder you have so much makeup. You need it to maintain the illusion that you have cheekbones and eyebrows, for one thing."
"Furry costume?" Lewis muttered, listening intently to the neighbours' argument. "What is that?"
Karen just shook her head, speechless. And they thought their last neighbours, college students who loved partying at 3AM, had been bad.
"Oh, and I suppose you think you're fucking Brad Pitt?" Rachel screamed.
"I wish I was, rather than settling for you. He broke up with Angelina Jolie, so I have a chance," Dave countered, eliciting shocked gasps from Karen and Lewis.
In the apartment next door, two people were leaning on each other for support as they heaved with laughter.
"They've turned off the TV," Rachel whispered, wiping tears from her eyes as she listened carefully.
"Well, if you're so unhappy, let's bring other people into this and see what they say! You always said you wanted a more open relationship, let's do this!" she said loudly. "I'm on board! We'll hold a little party on Friday and have a race to see who gets another partner first, how about that? If I win, I don't want to hear another word from you about my costume."
Dave leaned in and stole a kiss, still laughing.
"I still can't believe I found you," he whispered, so the neighbours wouldn't hear. "I love you, you know that?"
Her Tinder bio had matched his to an eerie extent. Stand-up comedian on the look-out for someone to have roasting matches with, mess with other people for shit and giggles, the usual. It had been constant entertainment since they'd moved in next to Karen and Lewis, a young, painfully conservative couple. They soon realised their new neighbours were obsessed with eavesdropping. Well, you couldn't disappoint an audience who wanted to listen to you that desperately.
Lewis and Karen now clutched at their crosses every time they caught a glimpse of their neighbours. After Rachel and Dave had that loud conversation about the merits of Satanism, Karen had actually stifled a little scream when she saw them the next day.
They would tell Lewis and Karen everything soon enough, before the two called the police. But for now, it was too much fun to see their strained smiles and glances at one another when they met the other couple in the hallways.
"Fine!" Dave said, as he broke the kiss and started yelling again for their audience. "We'll invite everyone we know and see what happens. Even Karen and Lewis! Especially Karen. I bet she looks fine beneath those long-sleeved dresses!"
Karen gave a squeak of alarm in the other apartment as Lewis gripped her hand.
Rachel stopped laughing.
"Dude, I want to drag this on for a bit longer than Friday, we can't ask them. Let them wonder about what's happening at the party."
"Uhm, no, not Karen and Lewis!" he yelled, nodding at Rachel. "I take that back! But yeah, everyone else we know, let's have an orgy!"
"Finally, we agree on something. I'll pick up some toys tomorrow," Rachel said. "You get the snacks. I'll make a playlist of metal music. And a few pagan folk songs, perhaps? Is that fine?
"What kind of question is that?" Dave asked.
"Sometimes, I remember why I love you," Rachel said. Lewis and Karen suddenly heard loud kissing sounds.
Karen buried her face in her hands as the fighting died down. As it always did, eventually. The couple had a unnerving habit of switching from screaming matches to romance.
"The Lord is testing us," she whispered.
Lewis nodded and patted her hand, privately disappointed that they'd been uninvited. Listening through the walls was so unsatisfactory, sometimes.
Sorry for reposting this. I decided I rather liked the original WP title better than the one I came up with. Unfortunately, I couldn't edit the title of my original post 🙈 I'm still experimenting with the style of my subreddit and whether I want other titles or not, please bear with me!
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